Dont Let a Grip Dry Hump Your Joy

Eddie Murphy tried to keep Mel Cowan from the podcast by blowing up his desk in Meet Dave, but Mel showed up anyway because he is both feisty and opinionated.  He tries desperately to keep G² on point as Grae fantasizes about giving Billy Idol a handjob and Gariana repeatedly calls everyone an asshole.  He eventually wrangles them into praising Hellboy II.

Amid discussion of Hell Ride and Ghost Town, Mel insists that the hippogriff in Harry Potter is named Burt Bacharach, Grae won’t stop singing no matter how much she is threatened, and Gariana spews vitriol over people who do yoga in cottony pants.  Do you want to hear why Mel LOVES Step Up 2: The Streets?  Then put on your headphones, kids!  It’s all happening.

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SOS FAG

This tardy episode is the result of a series of unfortunate events.  First, our guest didn’t show due to rampant alcoholism, then after continuing bravely forward and recording anyway, Grae’s computer erased their efforts.  Enter BJ Serviss, one of our Best Friends of the Show, who came in on short notice to offer his opinion on both Hancock and The Wackness.

In this episode, Gariana repeatedly asserts that Grae is the Wackness and she is the Dopeness, BJ shares that he secretly delights in watching Jared Leto get beat up in Fight Club, and Grae won’t stop singing Biz Markie.  Between arguing about whether the phrase “Jeal Jeal” will catch on, they discuss The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and The Day the Earth Stood Still.  BJ wraps up by expressing firm views on Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Gariana counters by threatening to defacate on Grae’s floor.  Just another week.

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Even Brain Damage Cannot Fool Us

Josh Tessier, known in most circles as a badass but in others as a man who cries in the corner after sex, joins G² this week.  He is a stunt man, and he leads the charge against Wanted.  He also admits that Wall-E softened his oft-punched heart.
After G² finally get off his case for being the ONLY late guest to the podcast, attributing it to numerous blows to the head, they are able to discuss trailers for Eagle Eye and He’s Just Not That Into You.  Josh gives us his muscle-rific DVD recommendations, tells us his favorite stunt, and Gariana consistently does everything she can to terrify him.  Does it work?  You decide.

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Honeydripping over Spies and Gurus

The Love Guru and Get Smart are under fire this week as Jacob Bruce, actor and punching bag for Jimmy Caan, joins G². Gariana offers detailed instructions to Jake on how to tolerate women talking about fashion, Jake’s ovum wobbles, and Grae gives a sneak peek of the Brokeback Mountain Opera under her stage name of Dusty Uterus.

The trailer section is all alcohol and boobs with House Bunny and Bottle Shock. We groan our way through the DVD releases of 10,000 BC, Charlie Bartlett, and Definitely Maybe, but the real disappointment comes when we discover what Honeydripper is really about.

Listen for Jake’s brilliant lines that G² completely ignore as well as his awe and reverence for the Xanadu DVD release.

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Greenery My Enemy

Peter Grumbine, between mugging to the microphone and wishing death upon old ladies, takes G² on a twisty turny ride of movie reviews this week. We filet The Happening and The Hulk, give the recipe for tiramisu, discuss giving birth to the wind, and talk about Gariana’s deep desire to have sex with a midget.

The trailers for The Rocker and Wanted briefly distract us from more wind sound effects and yelling “Grae Smash!” We are also delighted at the long overdue super special DVD release of So I Married an Axe Murderer. Have fun with this one kids, it’s a doozy.

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Celebrating China with June DeLore

Amalia Levari, master Mitten Knitter and Director of Operations at the Cinefamily jumps into this weeks podcast recorded on location at the Silent Movie Theater. Once Gariana wraps up her entirely too long apology to Shia LeBeouf and relives her wicked embarrassing encounter with Jason Reitman, we get a chance to speak frankly about Kung Fu Panda and Mongol. Listen to hear Amalia’s unorthodox method for watching violence in films, as well as her groundbreaking pronunciation of Keanu Reeves name.

The Ambassadors of Hilarity also get a little tied up in discussing the craziest things they have seen while riding the bus, but still manage to squeeze out some coherent thoughts on Choke and Space Chimps. The weeks DVD releases provide interesting fodder as well, and Grae gets to spew some hatred at Jumper. At least its out of her system.  Keeping it inside only makes her soul more…well, more like Gariana’s.

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Sex with Fists

Same planet, different worlds. Fashion maven and entrepreneur Jessica Moss goes head to head with G² this week over Sex and the City and The Foot Fist Way. We learned a lot about each other this episode…for instance, on their 21st birthdays, Jessica received a Louis Vuitton purse, and Gariana got a potato peeler. Grae loves mimosas, Jessica takes gay men on tours of her vagina. Etcetera.

The trailers for this show are Burn After Reading and Gonzo, and we throw in some chatter about Control, The Red Violin, and Student Bodies.

Listen to find out what Gariana unwrapped during The Foot Fist Way to cause an entire theater to feel vaguely uncomfortable!

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Guys in Hammer Pants vs Guys in Leather Fedoras

Screenwriter, Director, Proud Parent, and self-proclaimed Decent Husband Robert T. Magness joins G² this week. The universe has sent the trio a message that we graciously relay to you, dear listener: THIS PODCAST SAVES LIVES. And although Rob was saved, and then donated his time to discuss Indy and The Fall with them, Grae still calls his youngest kid a loser and Gariana insinuates that his wife is a whore. Rob counters with an uncomfortable but strong love for Lee Pace. Go fig.

Watch out for discussions about Baghead, Igor, Grace is Gone, and Gariana’s history of punching children at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood.

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Tales from The Other Sister and Beyond

The Popcorn Mafia’s street cred is upped in more ways than one this week: first, Hadrian Belove takes an hour away from The Cinefamily to join G2. Secondly, they depart from their normal format to just rap about any movie that crosses their minds (due to the barren wasteland of film releases over the past couple weeks). Then in the pinnacle of street cred, Grae endured a horrible ordeal that only makes her more courageous in the face of Los Angeles Crazy.

Everyone takes an unexpected stand in this episode–from Titanic to The Boost all the way over to Ghost, there is nothing predictable in this audio file! Next week we return to our normal format.

And fans please note: Grae has made a pledge to stop singing stupid songs to open the show. Please bear with her in this difficult time.

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Speed Racer Comes in Dead Last and Redbelt Confuses The Hell out of Us

This week comic, actor and author extraordinaire Wayne Federman graces us with his presence.  Listen as he lambasts Gariana for raising her voice in the treehouse and silently hides his disgust at Grae’s excessive hydration.  On the docket this week is Speed Racer and Redbelt, as well as important but tardy conversations on Iron Man and Children of Men.

Henry Poole is Here generates some disagreement among the crew, although Blindness sparks some excitement in our trio.

Wayne wows us with his stories of wielding flashlights on the set of X-files, and Grae expresses anxiety about her inability to pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor’s name.  Gariana mostly just keeps yelling and then falls silent as Wayne scolds her.  Enjoy!  Federman and out.

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